December 6, 2022

Humans are naturally wired to seek validation and affirmation from time to time. We crave inclusion. It helps us improve our instincts and make connections with other people. However, social media has drastically changed our way of connecting with other people. And seeking validation from social media is the most common factor in play. We find a constant need to be liked and validated by “people on the internet”. In recent times, there has been a surge in mental health problems associated with social media. One’s friendship is measured by being the first one to like or comment on a friend’s post. Popularity is defined by the number of heart reactions, views, and shares. So it’s natural to start imprinting notifications as happy pills, or popups of validation. Instead of posting what we like or agree with, we post the content that will get us more likes. When this inclusion and sense of validation is taken away from us, it ultimately leads to anxiousness and insecurity. So what is this assurance seeking anyway? And how do I know it has turned into a problem? Let’s dive into the deets. What is reassurance seeking? Reassurance refers to removing one’s fears or doubts through words of comfort or advice, or even some encouraging actions. It can be in the form of compliments after you wear a nice dress, or asking someone to double-check the locks, and so on. Reassurance seeking, however, is a continuous act of finding validation to get rid of uncertainty or for social media safety tips. The more continuous it gets, the more troublesome it becomes. While teaching social media in schools, the students must also be taught about its negative impacts of it, and how its excessive usage leads to reassurance issues. When does it become problematic? If you become completely dependent on others’ reassurances over the same issue, that’s when things escalate downwards. The need for validation from social media becomes more frequent. And the underlying problem that has been triggering this need for validation gets more complicated. So how is social media adding to this problem? Validation Seeking from Social Media We might be consuming social media mindlessly, but whatever you consume leaves an impact. Social media, through its simple availability, taps into our human desire of connecting with people and seeking their approval. The more approval you get on your posts, the more sense of worth, recognition, and satisfaction you gain. We start doing things not for our pleasure but for the sake of getting liked by others, waiting for that certain notification to ring. With an increased number of followers and positive responses, you start sharing more details on social media after making social media strategy. Now whatever you do is not for your pleasure, but for theirs. Excessive use of social media takes away the idea of mental, emotional, and spiritual relaxation. Other issues that arise out of the pressure of being liked by people include FOMO (fear of missing out), constant dissatisfaction, mood swings, people pleasing, feelings of loneliness without your phone, and chronic anxiety. This, of course, is just a gist. So how to withdraw from this obsession, how to break away from this vicious cycle? We have compiled a few helpful tips that will help you acknowledge your need of seeking validation from social media and lean towards a more self-fulfilled life. How to Stop Seeking Validation from Social Media Not all interactions on social media are bad. We often end up creating a healthy social circle. Additionally, it is a perfect way to get to know and support people from different countries. Social media management and marketing are quite resourceful for small businesses as well. In sum, social platforms can benefit your mental well-being, but it all comes down to how and how much you use them. With excessive usage comes the problem of seeking validation from social media. While it is not wrong to seek validation, clinging to the approval of others to make you feel fulfilled and valued is certainly not healthy. It not only affects your mood, but also harms your level of confidence, self-esteem, and relationships. Here are a few steps you can take to avoid this downward spiral, and stop yourself from seeking validation from social media. 1- Start with Mindful Posting Engage more often in mindful posting. Before you hit that share or post button, think of your motivation behind it. If you find out that the reason for this certain Instagram story is to be complimented by everyone or be praised for your aesthetic sense, and so on, consider not posting it. 2- Address the Underlying Issues It has been observed and studied that validation seeking in adults arises from the level of external validation you get in your childhood. It directly affects your attachment style later on. If you did not receive enough emotional validation, it, later on, contributes to: Consider this the most important step in working towards breaking the validation-seeking cycle. Start using social media mindfully, to effectively understand and address your issues. Every time you scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed, and a certain post triggers your bad mood or feelings of uneasiness, pause right there. Reflect on what you are feeling and understand which issue it’s triggering. Next, you can do is either unfollow such accounts or limit your use of that app. Another problem-solving way to address your unhealthy connection with seeking validation on social media is to reflect and engage with your real-life relationships. If you want company, try ringing a friend, or a family member, going out, reading a book, or texting that person you game with, instead of constantly posting and waiting for notifications to appear. 3- Digital Detox Now and then, we find research works proving that too much consumption of social media marketing leads to numerous mental health problems including low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. So, it is crucial to practice digital detox once in a while. Digital detox